It’s finally October! Time to break out the candy, decorations, and fake blood. It’s also the best time to watch a bunch of scary movies. You can always watch the horror classics or you can check out some of these crazy October 2015 releases! This month has something for everyone–horror-comedy, bloody slashers, haunted houses, witches, zombies, cannibals, and Guillermo Del Toro’s latest gothic horror flick.

Here’s a list of October’s theatrical releases. Enjoy!

OCTOBER 2, 2015

A Christmas Horror Story 

“It’s the season of joy, peace, and goodwill… unless you live in Bailey Downs. Last Christmas Eve, two teens came to a grisly end in a school basement. Now, one year later, a new set of horrors has come to town. As three friends explore the site of the massacre, a malevolent spirit is determined to keep them there forever. One of the first cops to the scene of the murders has new complications as his son exhibits terrifying and violent behavior. And when a local family seeks reconciliation with an estranged aunt, they suddenly find themselves running in terror from Krampus, the demonic anti-Santa Claus.”

Here are the highlights from the trailer:

–William Shatner (lol omg)

–zombie elves

–Santa kicking a zombie elf in the face

–Krampus vs. Santa fight

I mean, what part of that doesn’t sound good?

 

OCTOBER 6, 2015

Last Shift

“From director Anthony DiBlasi comes a Manson inspired horror film centering around a transitioning police station. Officer Jessica Loren has been assigned to wait for a Hazmat team to pick up bio-hazardous waste from the station’s armory. But unbeknownst to Jessica, cult Leader John Michael Paymon has haunted the department ever since he and two of this followers committed suicide a year ago to date. And now, Jessica is about to find out how dangerous they can be when she’s left alone on this Last Shift.”

 

This looks like it has potential? Sometimes I feel like the Manson Family has been done to death (har har), if the film spends as much time on cult members as it might on Not-Charlie-Manson, this film might explore some new ground. For me, a lot will hinge on whether or not the Not-Manson-Family can be convincingly confident in their collective insanity (think House of 1000 Corpses). At any rate, it looks like a bloody, creepy good time.

 

OCTOBER 9, 2015

The Final Girls

“Max, recently orphaned, goes to see a screening of a B-horror movie her mother made twenty years earlier. When Max and her friends find themselves in the world of the film itself, they must apply their knowledge of horror tropes to survive.”

This looks amazing!!! I’m so ready for more horror-comedy. Cheesy camp slashers have a special place in my heart, as do movies that simultaneously make fun of and pay homage to genre tropes. Hopefully this strikes the right balance between funny and scary, jokes and gore. And Adam Devine is in this? I’m a not-so-secret fan of Workaholics, which is funnier than it has any right to be.

 

Knock Knock

“Two nubile, stranded women reveal a sinister agenda after they spend the night with a married architect.”

SCANDALOUS.

Let me just say that I love Keanu Reeves, so I’ll probably watch this movie for him. Eli Roth always has pretty good ideas, but sometimes I’m not sure the execution is there. I like the idea of subverting roles and tropes, but some of the acting looks…disappointing. And for me, the whole idea of two hotties randomly showing up at your house and then deciding to throw themselves at a kindly middle-aged dad, without any real development, is obviously shady. Wouldn’t he figure it out? Does he never once think, these girls are weird, maybe I should call the cops? Or is Keanu’s character that desperate? I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m a girl?

P.S. the best part of this trailer so far was the YouTube comments:

Screen Shot 2015-10-03 at 11.20.10 AM Screen Shot 2015-10-03 at 11.20.38 AM

Screen Shot 2015-10-03 at 11.21.16 AM

 

Yakuza Apocalypse

“Kamiura is not your typical yakuza boss: he’s a kindly man who dotes on the locals in his ‘hood and extends life-saving loans to small businesses in order to keep the big corporations out. But when a Django-esque gunslinger in seventeenth-century Spanish garb comes to town, Kamiura is exposed for what he truly is: a vampire! Soon, Kamiura’s young protegé Kagayama is invested with his mentor’s powers, and takes to the streets with a new gang made up of regular citizens who have sprouted fangs and are ready to fight for their turf.”

This trailer is craaay. The best part is ALL OF IT. I don’t even know where to begin. But here’s the most important question: should I be sober or drunk when I watch it?

 

OCTOBER 16, 2015

Bastard

“Five strangers – newlywed serial killers, a suicidal cop, and two runaways – become suspect and victim when a masked murderer makes its presence known in an isolated mountain town.”

Well, this looks intense. And gory. It’s getting rave reviews for the acting, practical effects, and storytelling, which is nice to see for a horror movie. Diehard fans should definitely consider seeing this, especially when people are saying it’s “a triumph for independent horror.”

 

Crimson Peak 

“After marrying the charming and seductive Sir Thomas Sharpe, young Edith finds herself swept away to his remote gothic mansion in the English hills. Also living there is Lady Lucille, Thomas’ alluring sister and protector of her family’s dark secrets. Able to communicate with the dead, Edith tries to decipher the mystery behind the ghostly visions that haunt her new home. As she comes closer to the truth, Edith may learn that true monsters are made of flesh and blood.”

 

Virginal ingenue? Check. Tall, dark, handsome but shady love interest? Check. Decrepit gothic mansion? Check. Tons of ghosts and bloody tubs and smoke monsters? Check. Guillermo Del Toro? CHECK.

I love love love gothic horror. I’m super excited for this movie after waiting for what seems like an eternity. It looks scary and beautiful and oddly romantic.

And just when I can’t decide if Tom Hiddleston is hot or not, this happens:

https://33.media.tumblr.com/d37786684d863b517aaf453b80963806/tumblr_nvoctfW1bW1ui3097o3_1280.gif

Yes.

He is hot.

 

The Diabolical

“When a single mother and her two young children are tormented by an increasingly strange and intense presence in their quiet suburban home, she turns to her scientist boyfriend to take on the violent forces that paranormal experts are too frightened to face.”

Eh…I’d save this for Redbox, maybe Netflix. Just based on the trailer, it looks like another run-of-the-mill poltergeist/haunted house movie, and those are hit-or-miss. It’s gotten somewhat mixed reviews, though most critics have praised the science fiction elements of the plot.

 

Goosebumps

 “Upset about moving from the big city to a small town, young Zach Cooper finds a silver lining when he meets his beautiful neighbor Hannah. The teen is surprised to learn that Hannah’s mysterious father is R.L. Stine, the famous author of the best-selling “Goosebumps” series. When Zach accidentally unleashes the monsters from the fantastic tales, it’s up to Stine, his daughter and Cooper to return the beasts back to the books where they belong.”

All you 90s kids should be excited for this one! Everyone I knew growing up was into these books. The television series was a staple at slumber parties. Nostalgia is a powerful thing, and even though this doesn’t look scary at all, I’ll probably see this.

 

Lumberjack Man

“As the staff of Good Friends Church Camp prepares for a spring break filled with “Fun Under the Son”, a demon logger rises from his sap boiler to wreak his vengeance and feast on flapjacks soaked in the blood of his victims.”

“Flapjacks soaked in the blood of his victims”

“Flapjacks soaked in the blood of his victims”

 “FLAPJACKS SOAKED IN THE BLOOD OF HIS VICTIMS”

I’m dying at this synopsis.

That being said, of the two camp-themed horror movies coming out this month, Final Girls looks like the more original one. From this trailer, I couldn’t tell if this was supposed to be a comedy-horror or a straight horror movie that tries to shoehorn in some jokes. Either way, there will be lots of girls with big boobs, flying axes, and gore. Which, like, if that’s what you’re into, go for it. Let me know how you liked it.

 

Wind Walkers

“With one of their own missing, a group of friends travel to the remote Florida everglades where they discover that an ancient, malevolent curse is tracking them.”

There are too many things happening in this trailer. Zombie terrorists? Wendigos, but also zombies? A virus? A Native American curse? Something about PTSD? That’s a lot to deal with, which makes me a little worried for the finished product. It looks nicely shot, and I like the setting. But I wasn’t impressed by this trailer. Add to all this that Bloody Disgusting said this film “tries to be ‘Predator’ in Florida, but fails,” and I’ll RedBox this one, if that.

 

OCTOBER 23, 2015

Bone Tomahawk 

“When a group of cannibal savages kidnaps settlers from the small town of Bright Hope, an unlikely team of gunslingers, led by Sheriff Franklin Hunt, sets out to bring them home. But their enemy is more ruthless than anyone could have imagined, putting their mission – and survival itself – in serious jeopardy.”

There are some heavy hitters in this movie! And it looks genuinely creepy! Horror-western movies seem to belong to a subgenre that doesn’t get much attention, though there is much potential. And it’s apparently not too bad—the script was good enough ton convince Kurt Russell to stay on through 2 years (http://screenrant.com/bone-tomahawk-cast-russell-sarsgaard-jenkins-carpenter/) of production hell. I also really just want to see Kurt Russell and Patrick Wilson go up against a terrifying cannibal tribe in the middle of the desolate desert.

 

Clinger

 “When her possessive high school boyfriend dies in a gruesome accident, Fern Petersen’s life is thrown into turmoil. Things go from bad to worse when he returns as a love-sick ghost to kill her so they can be together for eternity.” 

So, I’m all for comedy-horror, but from the trailer, this might have something of a tone issue. It’s one thing to have a comedy horror movie, or a horror movie that starts off as light and then takes a very dark turn. But this film doesn’t seem to know how to balance the grim themes with humor.

But hey, this could be an amazing, self-aware horror-comedy that confronts us with the too-realistic plot. Maybe this is just a bad trailer. Reviews have been mixed, which means that there’s always potential.

 

The Last Witch Hunter

“The modern world holds many secrets, the most astounding being that witches still live among us. Centuries ago, Kaulder managed to slay the all-powerful Queen Witch, decimating her followers in the process. Before her death, she cursed the valiant warrior with her own immortality, separating him from his beloved wife and daughter in the afterlife. Her resurrection now threatens the survival of the human race as Kaulder, the only one of his kind remaining, faces her vengeful wrath.”

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters meetsThe Matrix, with a dash of I, Frankenstein? God, that movie was bad. At least this movie looks like it could be a decent action movie with a good helping of Big Dumb Fun. Vin Diesel always choses enjoyable movies to make, and with Michael Cain and Elijah Wood co-starring, it should at least be an entertaining blockbuster.

 

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

“The Ghost Dimension, follows a new family, The Fleeges – father Ryan, mother Emily and their young daughter Leila – who move into a house and discover a video camera and a box of tapes in the garage. When they look through the camera’s lens, they begin to see the paranormal activity happening around them – including the re-emergence of young Kristi and Katie.”

Another one? Guys, my disbelief can only be suspended so much! I’ve seen too many movies involving a box of haunted home videos left behind for a new, unsuspecting, naïve family to find. Who’s got time to watch 40 VHS tapes? Oh, and tool around with a shady Ghostbusters camera? None of this set off red flags? You didn’t burn that thing the minute it started acting weird? COME ON. The Ghost Dimension (terrible title) looks cheesy as hell, with too much CGI and bad “jump scares.” It also looks like its borrowing way too much from the original Poltergeist. Pass.

 

OCTOBER 30, 2015

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

“Three Boy Scouts join forces with a tough cocktail waitress to save their once-peaceful town from an all-out, zombie invasion.”

It seems to be a banner year for comedy-horror, and this movie looks like it might hit a perfect note between scares and laughs. I’ve been waiting for another us vs. the zombiefied world movie, like Zombieland, which I loved. Also, a hoard of zombie cats sounds adorable and horrifying. On the whole, this looks like a lot of fun!

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