Horror fans, I’m back!

Not to dwell, but life has been a little crazy for me lately, and I had to take some time to take care of family stuff (mostly taking care of an adorable new human who is utterly dependant on others). I had to put my love for horror on the back burner, unfortunately. But the flame of horror love burns eternal, and I kept obsessing over the latest horror trailers even while changing poopy diapers and helping my new baby learn to grab stuff.

Now that things have settled a little bit, I am so excited to start up again. Let’s start with the June horror releases.

But you know what’s not so exciting? The slate of June horror movies. Of the big releases, only The Dead Don’t Die and MAYBE Child’s Play seem worthwhile. The Dead Don’t Die is fresh from its premiere at Cannes Film Festival, which would be a promising sign if it weren’t for all the less-than-stellar reviews. As for Child’s Play, I wasn’t super impressed by the trailer (though I like the tech updates they’ve made to the premise), but then I learned that Mark Hamill was voicing the Buddi doll, and now I really want to see it.

Annabelle Comes Home (alternate title: Conjuring Sequel 432: Electric Bugaloo) is…also coming out this month. Because somehow these movies keep making money. At least Patrick Wilson’s fine self stays employed.

As for smaller releases and VOD films, I’m disappointed, to say the least. Usually, there are a couple of hidden horror gems dumped into VOD land during June, but June’s offering does not inspire confidence. The only one that might have potential is Recovery. While that story could work so well for a horror film, I’m not convinced this low-budget effort makes the most of its promise.

Le sigh.

Here’s hoping July’s horror movie releases are more exciting. In the meantime, check out the trailers for June’s horror releases.

June 4th          

The Cleaning Lady (VOD)

“A woman who is trying to distract herself from her affair with a married man befriends a badly scarred cleaning lady.”

A Haunting at Silver Falls: The Return (VOD)

“A young woman struggles to escape her troubled history until her aunt’s demented spectre surfaces seeking revenge.”

LOL

Recovery (VOD)

“The patients and staff of a secluded heroin treatment center must do battle with more than their own demons as a mysterious killer begins picking them off one-by-one.”

June 14th

The Dead Don’t Die (Wide)

“In the sleepy small town of Centerville, something is not quite right. The moon hangs large and low in the sky, the hours of daylight are becoming unpredictable, and animals are beginning to exhibit unusual behaviors. News reports are scary, and scientists are concerned, but no one foresees the strangest and most dangerous repercussion that will soon start plaguing Centerville: the dead rise from their graves and feast on the living, and the citizens must battle to survive.”

Head Count (VOD)

“A shape-shifting creature terrorizes a group of teens in the desert after one of them reads a mysterious chant from an internet site.”

June 21st

Child’s Play (Wide)

“After moving to a new city, young Andy Barclay receives a special present from his mother — a seemingly innocent Buddi doll that becomes his best friend. When the doll suddenly takes on a life of its own, Andy unites with other neighborhood children to stop the sinister toy from wreaking bloody havoc.”

Nightmare Cinema (VOD)

“Five strangers watch their deepest and darkest fears play out before them in an abandoned theater as the Projectionist preys upon their souls with his collection of disturbing films.”

June 28th

Annabelle Comes Home (Wide)

“Determined to keep Annabelle from wreaking more havoc, paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren lock the possessed doll in the artifacts room in their house. But when the doll awakens the room’s evil spirits, it soon becomes an unholy night of terror for the couple’s 10-year-old daughter, her friends and their young baby sitter.”

My Lord, this looks stupid.

The 16th Episode (VOD)

“Three struggling YouTubers hope to gain a surge of new followers by streaming a satanic ritual. They soon realize the ritual is real, and their viewers have tuned in to see them die.”

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