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Horror for the Discerning Fan

December Horror – Guillermo del Toro Goes for Oscar Gold

Gosh, is it already December 2017? Have we already been through eleven months’ worth of horror movies with only December horror left?

Time flies, doesn’t it?

We’ve been through a ton of horror movies this year of varying levels of quality. It only seems consistent that December horror would go the same route. I’ve been waiting for The Shape of Water for what feels like ages, which, if it’s as good as everyone says, will make a great year-end triumph for the genre. December horror also has some indie gems, like Desolation. But there’s also the forgettable Slumber to contend with.

It’s really Guillermo del Toro’s month for horror, for sure.

Horror is always a mixed bag, and it seems like this December Horror list is no different.

Let’s get to it.

December 1, 2017

Another Wolfcop

An alcoholic cop experiences blackouts and starts turning into a werewolf when the full moon appears in the sky.

LMAO, what is this? And why the hell should I not watch it? I need to watch this movie immediately. It’s schlocky and weird and cheesy. I can safely assume that this will not be the most tasteful movie ever, and that’s kind of why I want to watch it. I mean, a werewolf cop parachuting out of a plane into the mountains? Liquor donuts? I have to know why. I have a lot of questions that need to be answered here.

Slumber

A doctor must confront her own nightmares while battling a parasitic demon that preys on people while they sleep.

Does anyone else feel like this is the four thousandth movie this year about sleep paralysis/sleep monsters? Maybe that’s why I am not more intrigued by Slumber, though I will admit that I tried to give it a fair shake. I was with it for a little bit, very open-minded and patient and a little intrigued by the scary fun that could be had with a whole family suffering from sleep paralysis/sleep demons. That was until the blind seer showed up to deliver exposition and warn me how poorly written the movie must be, and I just couldn’t anymore. And then the trailer veered off into mediocrity and I was done. Pass.

Psychopaths

“In an unidentified prison, a madman is executed via the electric chair. This triggers a sort of Mischief Night for a group of serial killers out in the city. There’s Alice (Ashley Bell), an escaped mental patient who thinks she’s living in a 1950s glamour world; Blondie (Angela Trimbur), a beautiful seductress who lures men down into her suburban basement; a strangler (James Landry Hebert) who preys on unsuspecting women; and an enigmatic masked contract killer (Sam Zimmerman) whose next job sends him to a seedy nightclub. As the night progresses, the body count rises and the fate of these deranged murderers is sealed in blood.

I talked about this film in my recent post about the Tribeca Film Festival, where it did not earn great reviews. It seems to have built a reputation as more of an homage than a movie, a chance for the actors to flex their muscles and show off their chops. That isn’t bad, but if that’s the only thing holding this movie together, I can understand why it hasn’t wowed critics.

I have to admit though…it looks really pretty. And you know how much I love pretty horror.

December 8

The Shape of Water

Elisa is a mute, isolated woman who works as a cleaning lady in a hidden, high-security government laboratory in 1962 Baltimore. Her life changes forever when she discovers the lab’s classified secret — a mysterious, scaled creature from South America that lives in a water tank. As Elisa develops a unique bond with her new friend, she soon learns that its fate and very survival lies in the hands of a hostile government agent and a marine biologist.

Give me this movie!!! I never thought I’d be excited to see a movie that is “a one-of-a-kind hybrid of monster movie, spy movie, comedy and musical, where the romantic leads are a gill-man and a mute janitor.” After being disappointed that Crimson Peak wasn’t as horrific nor as over-the-top gothic as I would’ve liked, I NEED more Guillermo del Toro in my life. Preferably in top form.

And by God, I may get it with The Shape of Water, which is getting all kind of positive buzz. We’re talking Oscar contender buzz, which would be amazing considering the horror genre has been traditionally underrepresented at the Academy Awards.

December 15

Desolation

“A young mother goes into a remote wilderness area with her son and her best friend to scatter her late husband’s ashes. On their trek home, they begin to realize that a lone hiker has been following them. After a series of disturbing encounters, they are forced to confront their deepest fears when the stranger’s true motives are revealed.”

Yikes, this might be good! I feel like a lot of wilderness movies can fall into campy and trite territory pretty easily, but this feels fresh somehow. I like how the mother-son relationship seems to be a focus, I love how the hikers are capable and not stupid, and I like how the villain is freakin’ creepy. Those sunglasses are a nice touch.

This movie came out of the blue for me, but it’s definitely on my radar now.

 

What movies are you looking forward to December Horror? Tell me in the comments!

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1 Comment

  1. This is not a December movie but have you seen “mother!” yet?

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